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The Hurricane Report: Helen and Sandi are gone!

I definitely feel like too much has happened to write about this week but like the true Hurricane I am, you can bet that I’m going to do it anyway! If it wasn’t for THE VAULT task this week, nobody would get a mention except Sarah and Chad. It’s like, “Okay, we are an OLD married couple now and I (Sarah) will always wear the trousers, except when we are having truly explicit sex session in the bog that is!” Ooooooh Naughty!

I mean what else could he have been doing to her in there? She says, in between heavy panting and some suspicious noises, “This had better be worth it!”… Worth what honey? Ruining your reputation? I can tell you right now that your little showmance with Mr. Womanizer isn’t worth the stick you are going to get when you leave.  You are Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud but the only hard thing around that house is Chad and the only loudness I can hear is your moans that keep ringing over and over in my ears. EW!

It couldn’t have been worth it because afterwards Sarah became even more of a sad nag-bag. Whatever he did to her, he didn’t do it well and oh boy has he paid dearly for it. She wouldn’t even let caveman eat his protein packed meat but instead she turned on him calling him greedy and selfish just because he wanted to cook a quarter of a cup of mince for his supper! Chad was furious but too weak in the groin to retaliate, so he declared a three day fast and went straight in for the kill and nominated Sandi for getting involved. He said that she was picking on him over the food and I actually agree. No one should dictate another persons’ eating habits. He has a buff body because of his food choices and nobody is going to get in the way of that! Later that night, we saw Sarah and Chad stand together against Sandi over kitchen duties. The caveman was taking charge and I loved it!

In my BB house the Agboola sisters took over the kitchen which was fine by me! I cooked for the entire house just once and that was more than enough for me!  I would have been crazy to work up a sweat every day for a group of ungrateful, two-faced, lazy BRATS.  Cooking, cleaning, and scrubbing for the frenemies just isn’t my thing.

Amelia seemed lost and confused this week. She always looks a bit dozy to be fair, but this week really took the biscuit! She gave up a visit from her Mum to give Sarah a visit from a friend. Excuse me honey, you don’t even like Sarah! Saying Sarah needed a ‘boost’ was more confusing than a trying to say the alphabet backwards! Sarah has Chad, how much more boosting does one need?!

I never thought the day would ever come when I actually agree with Jemma but she was 100% right when she gave Amelia an earful over her silly decision and I was glad to see Jemma take her letter from her sister instead of giving Derek his letter from his wife. Your fellow housemates are total strangers who you’ve just met. They are unimportant! I understand Jemma’s decision as I did the same when I was in the house too. If I could go back and change it, I would. Only to spend longer with Queen!

I definitely think the nation was shocked by our evictees, Sandi and Helen. Sandi couldn’t hide her surprise and gasped when she heard Emma announce that she had lost her place. She may have tried to score brownie points with the public when she became the house mother, but people want steaming, scalding, entertainment, not cookery classes my love.  Helen, on the other hand, did expect to go and I think she had had enough anyway. Both ladies will be missed by me as they were lovely, reasonable and sincere. However, I’m sure I’ll recover as soon as tonight’s episode is on. That’s the good thing about Celebrity Big Brother, there’s always a new storyline to sink your teeth right into and I’m ready with my mouth wide open, ready to take a firm grip!

Sue Evans x